Battlegrounds
by BlackbAngeL
Summary: 2nd in the Apocalypse series. Companion to 'What's the point'. Oneshot, Buffy's POV, BA


**Disclaimer:** Not mine… yadda yadda… you know the drill.

**Author:** BlackbAngeL

**Summary:** Second in the "Apocalypse" series. The world will never be the same… but life goes on. You should read "What's the point?" before reading this, otherwise you might be confused.

**Rating: **PG-13, I guess.

o o o o o o o

Battlegrounds. That's what our lives are.

I think I hadn't really realised it, not until now… Not until I saw for myself what the world has become, after Hell released its armies on earth.

Not that I hadn't seen any battle before, or any Apocalypse. But this one is… different.

For one simple reason: we didn't stop it, this time.

I guess I didn't really believe it was possible. After all those years, and all these so-called "end of days" that we prevented, I must have forgotten that we couldn't always win.

Well, looks like Fate decided I needed to be reminded of that fact.

Our world isn't ours anymore. Day to day life is a constant struggle, and not only for us. Actually, I think it's even easier for us, because we already knew before that happened what was really going on in the world… the rest of humanity has had to face that truth rather brutally, without warning, as they watched everything they held dear, all their illusions and false truths, crumble and fall away.

We live everywhere and nowhere, all five of us. Angel, Faith, Rona, Lauren, Sylvia and I… we sleep where we can, when we can, and eat what we find. Trying to find a bathroom that works properly has become one of our games now… We know it's silly, and Angel always rolls his eyes, pretending to be exasperated, when we start our daily "Shower-chase", as we came to call it. The truth is, he enjoys it as much as we do… When you face Hell's worst escapees on a daily basis, life's smallest pleasures, like laughing, playing, or simply feeling hot water wash over your skin, become little pieces of Heaven you have to treasure… Because you don't know how long it will last. And because it's probably the only thing that keeps you sane.

He's sleeping beside me now, and I watch his still profile in the dark… I don't want to wake him up. We've been here for two weeks now, and I think it's the first time I see him getting some rest. His features are peaceful, and for a moment, I could almost believe that this whole madness was a nightmare I just wake up from. But I know it's just an illusion… Sooner or later, he's going to wake up, and the shadows will be back in his eyes. We almost have to force him to feed every day, I think he wouldn't if we weren't there… He's lost a lot of weight, even if he's still as strong and muscular as he ever was…

I try not to move too much, because he's holding me tightly against his chest…

I found him alone on the roof last night. He was watching the streets below, exactly like he did when I first came here… I know he's never going to forgive himself what's happening. I didn't tell him it wasn't his fault, even if it's true. I'm not sure he's ready to accept that, so, we don't really talk about it. I approached him slowly, and just took his hand in mine…

Every time I do that, I feel like he's suddenly waking up from a daze. He always stares at our fingers like he's looking for some kind of answer… I know it comforts him; and it comforts me.

We stayed like this for five minutes, until he finally looked at me. He brushed a strand of hair from my face, and without a word, leaned in to kiss me. I kissed him back, and before we knew what was happening, we were tugging at each other's clothes, urgently trying to get rid of them… We didn't stop ourselves like we used to. What would be the point? We're not naïve enough to believe in perfect happiness anymore. No matter how strong love is, it doesn't make the sorrow and the guilt fade away. Not in our lives.

We made love on the roof, under the stars, hidden from the rest of the world… For just a few moments, I lost myself in the feeling of his skin on mine, his hands, his kisses, our bodies slowly melding… We stayed there as long as we could, arms and legs entangled, until we had to go back inside before dawn. We laid down on a destroyed couch for the rest of the night, or morning, and fell asleep in each other's arms…

Fate is funny thing, you know?

For all those years, it's all we've ever wanted. Being able to be together. Somehow, we've always known it would happen one day, and I'm grateful that Angel finally came back to me.

What we didn't know, is that all Hell would have to break loose for that wish to come true.

He's still asleep, but his eyelids are starting to twitch… he's going to wake up soon. Faith is already out, probably trying to find some kind of breakfast… We're going to stay hidden for the rest of the day, until Angel can come out, and start what has become our routine… Patrol, fight, shower-chase, dinner, and sleep.

Yes, our lives are battlegrounds. Tainted with blood, tears, graves, and the spectres of all the friends we've lost.

But we keep on fighting. Maybe it's pointless, and maybe everything is going to disappear in Hell. Maybe we're going to die, and maybe we should just give up. But we don't. We stand still, and we try to find some kind of peace wherever we can… before we have to fight again.

The battle never ends.

And life goes on.

o o o o o o o

The end

Reviews!! Please!


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